The subject of this post is not necessarily a unique one in theory, and may even be something you are familiar with if you are a very unlucky individual.

Have you ever done something that resulted in some nasty boogers? You probably have and you are willing to admit it, or you do not admit it and you are a dirty liar.

I happen to have some intimate experience with this subject. I have been studying soil for the last two years and in the course of that study I have been well acquainted with what I dub “soil boogers”. Soil boogers are a product of many hours spent working with very dry soil that puffs up in clouds and invades the nostrils. But recently I have discovered a new species of booger that just plows down the soil boogers in the category of absolute nastiness.

BUS BOOGERS. (Should I copywrite the phrase?)

Close your eyes now and conjure up those deeply buried memories that I know you have of the smell of the bus you rode to school as a kid. Let’s not pretend that smelled like roses. Now imagine that instead of just riding it to school, you are tearing everything out of it. In the process of tearing it out, you are wading through years of filth. Keep that in your mind. But really, I know you didn’t close your eyes earlier you damn cheater, imagine this shit. As it turns out, when you buy an elderly bus, it brings a lot of years of grime with it.

But really, what is that????

In the process of clearing out the bus you stir up that grime and you get bus dust. All. Over. Yourself. All that junk manages to find its way up into your nostrils and, BAM! You now have yourself some seriously funky boogers. They are black and contain  some seriously suspect stuff. Say seriously suspect stuff five times fast. No really, try.